Neologisms

My brother-in-law sent me this.
Thought I'd share.

Bozone is my favorite.

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people

 that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, 

unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in
the near future.

Although Arachnoleptic fit is a close second.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed 

just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Neologisms
The Washington Post has published the winning submissions

 to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked

 to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight 

you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a 

flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), a condition in which you 

absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up

 after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing 

adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), person who sprinkles his conversation

 with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The 

belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the 

roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), opening in the front of boxer shorts 
worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers 

to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, 

subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply
a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people 

that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,

 unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in
the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for 
the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which rend-

ers the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit

 and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are

 running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (that one got

 extra credit)
9. Karmageddon (n): Its like, when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth 
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through
 the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem 

smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just 

after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets

 into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a

 grub in the fruit you're eating.
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole